Thanks to ChevEE for posting this website (textsfromlastnight.com) in the shoutbox. If you need a good laugh take some time to read some of those, or post any of your funny texts you receive here.
(209): I am so f&$^ing pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
(859): Looks like you’ll have to stick to jizzing in socks
(617): Yeah, she’d be cute…but she has faith. It’s a problem down south.
(909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
" I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti " :lmao:
LoL Hilarious!
[QUOTE=kevinharbin;420595]between this and [URL]http://www.fmylife.com/[/URL] you can kill a lot of time.[/QUOTE]
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years.:lmao:
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen.haha!
My personal favorite so far:
(334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Sounds like a Jack Handy sketch…
From fmylife.com:
[URL=http://www.fmylife.com/love/3960027]Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket.[/URL][URL=http://www.fmylife.com/love/3960027] The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the ‘wet spot’ was.[/URL][URL=http://www.fmylife.com/love/3960027] He thought it was romantic.[/URL][URL=http://www.fmylife.com/love/3960027] FML[/URL]