The riddle:
What has eight teeth, a broken arm, a broken leg, a black eye, and a pile of **** in his pants?
The answer:
The last guy to wave at Chuck Norris.
Put your favorites here.
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing…You’ve already told her twice!
I know I know…I don’t condone female violence…but that’s still pretty funny.
[QUOTE=TRLeader;329135]What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing…You’ve already told her twice!
I know I know…I don’t condone female violence…but that’s still pretty funny.[/QUOTE]
I was kind of pushing for Chuck Norris jokes. I’ll forgive. Chuck might not.
I was kind of pushing for Chuck Norris jokes. I'll forgive. Chuck might not.
Chuck Norris jokes? JOKES!?! I hope Mr. Norris is not reading this website, he might take that as an insult, but sucks for you, bc Mr. Norris sees all.
By the way, a few FACTS about Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped his ass. The infant now known as Chuck Norris responded with a round-house kick to the doctor’s head and a pelvic thrust in his general direction.
In the 50’s, Chuck Norris visited the vatican. His presence alone was enough to impregnate all of the nuns there. All of the babies were very strong boys, of course. The result was the 1972 Miami Dolphins. The only undefeated team in the history of the NFL.
After that, Mr. Norris visited the Virgin Islands. To people in “the know,” we just call them The Islands now.
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.
There is no such thing as Natural Selection, just species that Chuck Norris allows to stay alive.
When the Boogie Man goes to sleep, he checks his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.
After the attack on Pearl Harbor, USA was about to go and drop two nuclear bombs on Japan. Chuck Norris told the president, “I got this,” and swam over to Japan. When he got there, he shouted at the top of his lungs, “HERE’S A MESSAGE FROM AMERICA!” He lit two of his massive farts on fire, and the result was so incredible, the Japanese people, to this day, still think we nuked them.
The show “Law & Order” is actually named after Chuck Norris’ two fists.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin, he has a third fist under his manly fire-colored beard.
When God created the Earth, he said, “Let there be light.” A voice came out of nowhere that God quickly realized belonged to Chuck Norris. That voice said “SAY PLEASE!!”
And finally, Chuck Norris doesn’t read books; he stares them down until he gets the information he requires from them.
Chuck Norris went to a Chinese restaurant and received undercooked Moo Goo Gai Pan. In response, he roundhouse kicked the entire restaurant so hard that it rained cats and dogs.
I forgot to add this fact to the ones above:
Chuck Norris’ partner on Walker Texas Ranger is not black. He’s bruised.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas…
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer… Too bad he never cries…
Chuck Norris once sued NBC for stealing the naming rights of his left and right leg… Law & Order.
Mr. T once pity-ed Chuck Norris… Historians regard this as the worst mistake any man has ever made…
Lorenzo Llamas from Renegade would WHOOP Chuck Norris… hahahahaha
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quite after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satelite.
Chuck Norris is the only man who has literally beaten the odds… with his fists.
Chuck Norris can round house kick a ten dollar bill into two hundred nickels.
Chuck Norris now owns IBM. It was a very hostile takeover.