Well it is the start of April which means the summer movie season is about to begin. Allow me to give you a run down on films for the next few months!
Rather than try to get them all in one post, I am going month by month. Up first, April!
April
April 7
Smurfs: Lost Village – Ever wonder why Smurfette was the only chic smurf? I mean how big a whore was she? Well looks like there were other girl smurfs and this time there will be some serious hardcore smurfin’ NWA Expectation: Daughters will make me watch this on Amazon
April 14
The Fate of the Furious – Vin, The Rock and Co are back for another ride. This time with Charlize Theron. Like previous installments expect over the top action and a good time, but not necessarily a good movie. Bonus here though in that apparently, Vin and The Rock legit hate each other. Double Bonus they love the #Family story line and we all know about that. NWA Expectation: Like most of the Fast movies, will wait for video.
Lost City of Z – Film based on life of British Explorer Percy Fawcett who attempted to find… wait for it… wait for it… a lost city. NWA Expectation: I won’t go see it, but trailer looked interesting. Film being released by Amazon Studios.
April 21 – This weekend is looking pretty empty as far as fun films go! Here is best I can offer
The Promise – Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale in a film about historic Armenia during the Ottoman Empire’s Aremenia Genocide. OK so this doesn’t sound like a fun movie at all. NWA Expectation: No thanks, don’t need depressing s***
April 28
The Circle – Tom Hanks and Emma Watson joined by Karen Gillan, John Boyega, Patton Oswalt and the late Bill Paxton. Film centers around a tech company and concerns around privacy, surveillance and freedoms. NWA Expectation: Emma Watson? Karen Gillan? Tom Hanks? Count me in!
How to be a Latin Lover – I suspect this movie is about how to be a latin lover? Stars Salma Hayek, Kristen Bell and Raquel Welch soooo NWA Expectation: Will check this out on video, where I can pause and rewind certain scenes!
clt recommends tropic thunder.
MAY!!!
May 5
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 – Marvel follows up their 2014 smash space hit with vol 2, which brings back the entire cast, plus new characters Mantis, Ego and Nebula being a good girl? Look for another fun film, wisely directed with a tighter story as it looks to not be directly involved in setting up Infinity War. NWA Expectation: Opening night, without question
May 12
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – Guy Ritchie attempts to do for King Arthur what he did for Sherlock Holmes. Looks like a good time. NWA Exxpectation: Movie will probably be better than it should be, but will get crushed by previous week’s Marvel entry. Will wait and see it on video.
May 19
Alien: Covenant – Following up the head scratcher and let down of Prometheus comes Ridley Scott’s next attempt of a worthy entry to the franchise he started. Some of our cast returns, David and Shaw – while a bunch of new folks arrive with characters played by Danny McBride and James Franco. NWA Expectation: Well I didn’t think Prometheus was terrible, but it was a let down. The movie tried to do too much, perhaps this will be a tighter compact story? Will go see it in theater, but keep expectations in check.
May 26
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – Johnny Depp returns to play his favorite pirate and give us another Halloween of Capt Jack Sparrow costumes. Returning the franchise is Orlando Bloom and joined by Javier Bardem and regular Geoffrey Rush. No Kiera Knightley though. NWA Expectation: Supposedly this is final Pirates movie, but not sure I believe it. Saw the first three in the theater, last one on video. Probably will be up to the wife if this one is theater worthy.
[font=calibri][size=2]Baywatch – TIMEOUT – OK I have an issue with all these 80s and 90s T shows being turned into movies. Not that they are being made as movies, but that they are being made as over the top comedy action movies. CHiPs, this, Starksy and Hutch, Dukes, they all miss the point on what those shows were. OK Back to the movie. The Rock and Zac Efron take on the Baywatch roles and hilarity happens. Promises to be a lot of raunchiness and over the top action. NWA Expectation: Not paying money to see this, but the hot chics will warrant a video viewing.[/size][/font]
[quote=“NinerWupAss, post:2, topic:30892”]April
How to be a Latin Lover – I suspect this movie is about how to be a latin lover? Stars Salma Hayek, Kristen Bell and Raquel Welch soooo NWA Expectation: Will check this out on video, where I can pause and rewind certain scenes![/quote]
I am sure some of the younger guys here do not even know who Raquel Welch is, but in the days before Al Gore invented internet porn she was the stuff dreams were made of. It is hard to believe she is 76 years old.
JUNE!!!
June 2
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie - Kids movie that looks pretty funny. Voice talent of Kevin Hart, Jordan Peele and Ed Helms. NWA Expectation: Meh. Not unless daughter has to go see it.
Wonderwoman - Gal Gadot brings her incarnation of WW back to the big screen with Chris Pine joining in male lead. Looks to be the DC version of Captain America with majority of film set in WW2. NWA Expectation: Well the one thing DC has gotten right is making trailers. The latest WW trailers make it look like a good movie, but we have seen that before with BvS and Suicide Squad. Will I go see this in the theater? Likely. Do I expect it to be good? No. Do I expect to come out cussing the DC movie machine? Absolutely.
June 9
The Mummy - We all remember the last Mummy trilogy right? It wasn’t GREAT, but it wasn’t bad either. Well Universal looked at the Marvel $$$$ and thought they needed to create a shared monster universe with Mummy, Dracula, Frankenstein, etc. So here we go. Tom Cruise takes the lead as he battles a female mummy. NWA Expectation: No thanks. Will wait for video.
June 16
Cars 3 - Our usual suspects return to their roles, lead by Owen Wilson as Lightning McQueen. Trailers look good and it appears that there is a wreck and McQueen questioning his place and yada yada yada, wait wasn’t this the story of Talladega Nights? NWA Expectation: I have a 5 year old. I will have to see this movie.
Rough Night - Girls Comedy movie starring Scarlet Johansson, Zoe Kravitz, Kate McKinnon, etc. I dunno what happens, but I am guessing typical hi-jinx with men and etc. NWA Expectation: No way in hell
All Eyez on Me - Were you sitting around all winter asking yourself “When do I get to see a Tupac biopic?” Well if you were the one person asking that this is your lucky summer! NWA Expectation: I would be more interested in a JFK Oliver Stone story on the deaths of Tupac and Biggie
June 23
Transformers: The Last Knight - Ugh. OK another movie by Michael Bay with giant robots fighting and … what is the point of all this? Mark Wahlberg returns, as does Josh Duhamel AKA Mr Fergie and Tyrese Gibson. I have no idea what the story line of this one is, but does it matter? NWA Expectation: OK I have a high tolerance for bad movies. In the end I don’t nitpick, just entertain me. If the movie is supposed to be a popcorn flick then just be a good popcorn flick. These movies though just keep getting worse. The first one was entertaining, f for no other reason 10 year old me was very happy. Each one since then just keeps devolving. I will see this on video after I have exhausted just about everything else Netflix is recommending for me.
June 30
Despicable Me - Third entry of this series with the voice talent of Steve Carrell. Gru meets his long lost brother we never knew he had. I mean the dude didn’t even show up for Gru’s wedding? No cool brah. NWA Expectation: These movies are entertaining and my daughter loves them and the minions so, yes to theater here.
The House - Will Ferrell and Amy Poehleer vehicle about starting an illeagl casino to fund daughters college fund. NWA Expectation: I’ll pass, but catch of video.
Amityville: The Awakening - Horror movie based on the Amityville house. I think we all are familiar with this story. Family movies into house and then s*** happens. Bella Thorne is hot though and stars. NWA Expectation: Deal with wife is I don’t have to see Rom-Coms unless she wants to take in a horror movie. 14 years in and this agreement has only been test once. Thank you Saw series from saving me from many a romcom, but it comes at the expense of seeing something like this.
July!!!
July 7
Spider-Man: Homecoming - This is the big one of the summer. At this point expect Guardians to still be in summer box office lead, but Spidey is going to come out swinging (get the pun?). In the first release of the Marvel/Sony pax romana and agreement to share the character comes our first stand alone Spidey film, all though he will get some help in the form of Ironman. Michael Keaton plays bad guy Vulture and the hottest Aunt May ever as performed by Marisa Tomei. Marvel is saying that each Spidey film will be a year of his HS, so here we go with Soph year. NWA Expectation: Well this I can get excited about! Spidey done proper by the Marvel machine. Should be a great movie and by all accounts Tom Holland has been a great addition to the MCU as seen in Civil War. Notice there are no other major releases this weekend - at all. This one is expected to be huge.
July 14
War for the Planet of the Apes - Matt Reeves directs the third installment of the third version of the Apes universe. Andy Serkis is back as motion cap lead Ape. Apes look to cement their hold. NWA Expectation: I haven’t gotten into the Ape movies, still partial to the OG ones. With that said I have heard these are very solid and expect nothing different here. At some point will catch all of them on video, well ahead of Transformers.
July 21 - This weekend gives us our first legit box office showdown of the summer.
In the blue trunks: Dunkirk - Christopher Nolan delivers his next masterpiece. A retelling of the WW2 battle of Dunkirk starring Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Kenneth Branagh and more. NWA Expectation: This movie has a few things going for it. The first is Dunkirk is an amazing historical moment. If you don’t know about it, go read - like now. The British were nearly forced to surrender to the Nazis. It was that close to being over. The second thing is this is Nolan. Why doubt this man? He does nothing but deliver. The extended trailer at Rogue One sent chills down my spine. I will be in the theater for this. The large battle action set pieces deserve that type of viewing.
In the red trunks: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets - No not that Valyria (GoT reference). Luc Besson - he of The 5th Element, returns to SciFi with a film based on a french comic series. Movie, if it does well, will kick off a franchise. NWA Expectation: Well I guess i need to start telling the wife I have two movies to see this weekend! As Dunkirk will be one she joins, this one is probably not her cup of tea. The trailers look outstanding and with some massive world building. The 5th Element is one of my all time favorite SciFi films. I am really looking forward to this. Sadly, I expect the box office to underwhelm.
Girls Trip - Universal looks to counter program that above two male aimed releases with an African American girls movie about, ugh men and dates and etc. NWA Expectation: No thanks, I’m good
July 28
Atomic Blonde - Charize Theron as a kick ass spy type of role. It strikes me as a bit Borne-ish, but with a chic. Trailers look fantastic. Set in 1989 at the fall of the wall. Theron plays MI-6 Agent. Also stars James McAvoy NWA Expectation: I want to see this.
The Emoji Movie - I would complain about Hollywood here, but they took an old out of date ride at Disney World and made some good movies, so who knows. Movie centers around a - you guessed it, emoji. NWA Expectation: Should be bad, probably will be bad, but who knows - could be one of those movies that surprise and is culturally relevant.
August!!!
August 4
The Dark Tower - Based on the Stephen King series the long gestating ambitious project finally arrives. Starring Mathew McConaughey and Idris Elba the film supposedly serves as a sequel of sorts to the King book series. Reviews that have trickles in say it is very good. NWA Expectation: I have not read this series, but King lovers speak of it in the same way GRRM fans speak of GoT. They hold the source material to very high esteem. I may take this in at the theater, just based on the leads. It it delivers maybe I should drop back and read the series.
August 18
The Hitman’s Bodyguard - Stars Ryan Reynolds and and Samuel Jackson. Movie centers around… Hitmen! Also stars Salma Hayek. NWA Expectation: This is a movie I say I want to see, will think about seeing, but not make the time to see.
The Nutty Job 2: Nutty by Nature - Computer animated film about a bunch of park animals that try and stop their park from getting bulldozed for an amusement park. Decent voice talent in Will Arnett, Jeff Dunham, Katherine Heigel, Mya Rudolph, Jackie Chan, etc. NWA Expectation: Nope
Lucky Logan - [font=sans-serif][size=14px]Trying to reverse a family curse, brothers Jimmy (Channing Tatum)[/size][/font][font=sans-serif][size=14px] and Clyde Logan (Adam Driver)[/size][/font][font=sans-serif][size=14px] set out to execute an elaborate robbery during the Coke 600[/size][/font][font=sans-serif][size=14px] [/size][/font][font=sans-serif][size=14px]during Memorial Day weekend. NWA Expectation: I knew nothing of this movie. I keep myself fairly up to speed on things and discovered this while looking at summer movies. This sounds fantastic. Can not wait to see it!!! [/size][/font]
[font=sans-serif][size=14px]Rest of August -[/size][size=14px]NOTHING of note[/size][/font]
BONUS! Fall Movies of Note!
September 29
Kingsman: The Golden Circle - This looks good!
Flatliners - Sequel of the 1990 film, Kiefer Sutherland returns
October 6
Bladerunner 2049 - How can you not get excited for this?
My Little Pony: The Movie - If you have girls, go ahead and find something you HAVE to do this weekend.
October 27
God Particle - Third installment in JJ’s Cloverfield offerings
Saw: Legacy - Cuz Halloween
November 3
Thor: Ragnarok - Final set up ahead of Infinty War
November 17
Justice League - Well let’s see if DC can screw this up too
November 22
Murder on Orient Express - Amazing cast!
December 15
Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Go ahead and make your plans for midnight show
December 20
Jumanji - Why would you release something like this so close to SW? Unless they expect it to be really bad. Karen Gillan looks hot though.
December 22
Pitch Perfect - Counter programming opposite SW repeats.
You need a hobby.
Movies?
I saw Kong last night.
First of all, I love that NWA does this list every year. Thanks man.
I think I must be getting more and more cynical with age. I love movies, but this list is underwhelming, as was last year’s.
Couple of random comments:
Lost City of Z - I will be looking for reviews from my more trusted sources, but my interest is piqued. Doesn’t hurt that I just red Douglas Preston’s Lost City of the Monkey God, which was non-fiction based on his trip down to Honduras to find what was thought to be a mythical lost city (it’s a fascinating concept, but just an average read)
The Circle - intrigued, but not ready to make plans to see this just yet. Concept sounds solid. Karen Gillen is lovely, but if she is still bald from her GotG role, that kills it for me. She has great legs, but I love her long, fiery red hair too.
GotG 2 - I will see but I don’t know if they have any new jokes. Maybe Im just too cynical. I am just expecting a rehash. I know its purpose is to advance the Infinity storyline - but that isn’t what made the first movie great. It was the jokes and the retro soundtrack.
Alien Covenant - Looks like a return to a formula for financial reasons. That is probably good news to most fans, but Im craving some originality for the series that works. Plus I don’t tend to like Kenny Powers in serious roles. The inclusion of him and Franco makes this seem like a dozen other propped up formulaic popcorn flicks that they will probably bog down with their brands of humor. Also, Scott stupidly killed off Idris Elba in the last one - which was a total waste if these two are his effective replacements. He’s a much better actor than either of them.
Valerian & the too long movie title. I started the thread about this movie. I even bought the comic book issue that the movie is supposed to be based on (I was curious). Lets be honest - the only reasons this one got green lighted with a huge budget were 1) Fifth Element and 2) Guardians of the Galaxy success. No way any money guys make this without those two factors. That said, besides the way too long title, the appeal of the original comic was that it was f***ing crazily futuristic and awesome when it came out, but to a modern, clueless audience will look totally derivative, and therefore boring. Toss in the euro sensibilities of the script/comic (mild spoiler: Laureline is the major heroine of the comic issue if they stay true to the source material - it’ll be a girl power movie) , and I agree with NWA - I think this was has better than even chances of dying miserably in the theater, especially opening against Dunkirk. The only way it works is if Dunkirk is too depressing and this one quickly gets the Guardians/Fifth Element “its fun sci fi” word of mouth. The story wasn’t that fun though, aside from one really quirky character. I’m really scared this ends up being John Carter from Mars 2.0, even though I plan on seeing it and love Besson’s visual style.
Im not jumping in excitement, but I will probably see:
Dunkirk (Nolan rules, but this may be a bit too gritty)
Bladerunner (may be the only person alive who didn’t love the first one)
Murder on Orient - probably has the 2nd best chance of being good - depends on the treatment
Dark Tower - I haven’t ever gotten excited about the premise for this series, but Idris Elba is the man. If we can get Rust Cohle that’d be even better. I’m psyched on the castings alone.
God Particle - at least it’s somewhat original. Quirky enough to pull the trigger.
Star Wars VIII is a given, but is damn near 9 mos away.
I will definitely want to see Dunkirk in IMAX.
Is Margot Robbie going to be in any summer movies?
Nice write up NWA. Star Wars and Dunkirk are the ones on this list I’ll go see, and I actually have high expectations for The Mummy.
Thanks guys! I always enjoy doing this.
NA - GOTG is not supposed to factor in much at all with Infinity War. James Gunn has been pretty vocal on this movie telling it’s own story for the most part.
Also Karen Gillan has grown out her hair. They only shaved the under part this time around.
This movie is getting crazy good reviews. Saw one comparison to Apocalypse Now. Lots of 5 star ratings. It’s not a popcorn flick though. It’s a think piece - gonna be really heavy. I wanna see it, but I I’ll have to be in the right mood.
Also the Z is pronounced “Zed” as per the British pronunciation.
An adventure of the intellect and of the heart with the real-life explorer who inspired Indiana Jones, one more about the journey than the destination.
This movie is getting crazy good reviews. Saw one comparison to Apocalypse Now. Lots of 5 star ratings.[size=12pt] It’s not a popcorn flick though. It’s a think piece[/size] - gonna be really heavy. I wanna see it, but I I’ll have to be in the right mood.
Also the Z is pronounced “Zed” as per the British pronunciation.
An adventure of the intellect and of the heart with the real-life explorer who inspired Indiana Jones, one more about the journey than the destination.[/quote]
What’s wrong with thinking and eating popcorn at the same time?