From SI.com:
Maryland’s Caner-Medley freed on bail in Maine
I particularly like this line from the story:
[Nik] “Caner-Medley was there, yelling,” said Lt. Vern Malloch, reading from the report. "He took his shirt off and threatened to assault [the complainant]. [Caner-Medley’s] friends were trying to restrain him. He was intoxicated and made a statement, ‘I’m from Maryland, and nobody can beat me.’
:drink: :silly: :argue: :cuss:
Don’t mess with those UM fighting turtles!
:lmao:
:lmao: 
A factual recreation of that nights event
Caner-Medley decides to go to the bar
:drink:
Drink Caner-Medley, Drink
:drink:
Uh Oh Look’s Like Somebodies Drunk, Oh No Caner-Medley decides to show off
:butt:
And The Crowd Goes Wild
:lmao: :lmao:
Uh Oh Looks Like Somebody’s Had A Little Too Much
:ticked: :cuss:
The Cops come and Arrest The Fool, but now he’s got to face Coach Williams, who is not a happy Camper
:argue: 
Looks Like Somebody Won’t Be Drinking Again in a While
:silly:
The End