101 Greatest Simpson Quotes

In honor of the movie…

http://blogzarro.com/?p=223

A few of my favorite…

12.Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

15.Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”

17.Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

22.Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?

32.Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

39.Grandpa Simpson: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot

41.Troy McClure: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

82.Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

100.Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

Homer: “Are you better than me?”

Darryl Strawberry: “Well … I’ve never met you, but … Yes.”

  1. [B][B]Superintendent Chalmers:[/B][/B] “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

  2. [B]Apu:[/B] Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.

And the best one of them all!!! It relates to most of us hooligans!!!

  1. [B]Homer:[/B] Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

[B]43. Homer:[/B] Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

[B]57. Superintendent Chalmers:[/B] I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…

[B]70. Barney:[/B] Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

kind of disappointed Ralph didn’t make it with: The berries taste like burning.

Greatest ever:

homer carrying bowling balls out the door (beer baron episode), marge says “homer where are you going with those bowling balls?” homer: “I’m not gonna lie to you marge.” homer walks out the door.

kind of disappointed Ralph didn't make it with: The berries taste like burning.

or: I found a moonrock in my nose.

kind of disappointed Ralph didn't make it with: The berries taste like burning.
Eh it's just a blog. What do they know?

One of my favorite Ralph related quotes:
Ralph: "What’s a battle?"
Chalmers: "Did that child say “what’s a battle?”"
Skinner: "No… he said, “what’s that rattle.”

This right here proves that this list is junk. This is one of the best quotes ever:
Moe: They’re headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we’re not.
Moe: Let’s go to the old mill anyway – get some cider!

One of my favorites from grandpa:
(Banging on window like in “The Graduate.”)
“MRS. BOUVIER! MRS. BOUVIER!”

And not even from regular characters, this one is from a Homer daydream about the Gomer Pile Show or whatever.
Sgt.: PILE!!
Pile: SHAZAMMM!
Sgt.: PILE!!
Pile: SHAZAMMM!

How about the whale from the episode where people think Mr. Burns is a ghost in the woods?
Woooggggwwwooooowooooo

I’m sure there are thousands more.

Its opinion… relax. A blog.

Yea you’re totally confused again. I was just saying some quotes I like.

Eh it's just a blog. What do they know?

One of my favorite Ralph related quotes:
Ralph: "What’s a battle?"
Chalmers: "Did that child say “what’s a battle?”"
Skinner: "No… he said, “what’s that rattle.”

[B]This right here proves that this list is junk[/B]. This is one of the best quotes ever:
Moe: They’re headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we’re not.
Moe: Let’s go to the old mill anyway – get some cider!

One of my favorites from grandpa:
(Banging on window like in “The Graduate.”)
“MRS. BOUVIER! MRS. BOUVIER!”

And not even from regular characters, this one is from a Homer daydream about the Gomer Pile Show or whatever.
Sgt.: PILE!!
Pile: SHAZAMMM!
Sgt.: PILE!!
Pile: SHAZAMMM!

How about the whale from the episode where people think Mr. Burns is a ghost in the woods?
Woooggggwwwooooowooooo

I’m sure there are thousands more.

Come on, that, one thing says the whole list is junk? This persons opinion is not valid because it doesnt have 1 quote on there? Harsh man.

Anyways, I was talking to someone a couple weeks ago. We were discussing how the Simpsons really has taken a drop in the past few years. Some of the new episodes just seem terrible. Like, I dont even religiously watch it on sunday anymore.

Come on, that, one thing says the whole list is junk? This persons opinion is not valid because it doesnt have 1 quote on there? Harsh man.
No, but it was last nail in the coffin so to speak. He was missing a lot. It's not harsh, it's just honest and I was not unrelaxed when typing it.
Anyways, I was talking to someone a couple weeks ago. We were discussing how the Simpsons really has taken a drop in the past few years. Some of the new episodes just seem terrible. Like, I dont even religiously watch it on sunday anymore.
Welcome to about 6 years ago.
No, but it was last nail in the coffin so to speak. He was missing a lot. It's not harsh, it's just honest and I was not unrelaxed when typing it.

[B]Welcome to about 6 years ago[/B].

Dude… harsh

Your right though, he did miss some great ones. I dont think I noticed the “Save me Jeebus” anywhere.

I love communications as a major, because we talk about Simpsons all day.

Few more

Willie: Have you got any grease?!
Lunchlady Doris: Yes, yes we do.
Willie: Then grease me up woman!

Another great one… and I don’t even have to write it all out this time!
Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer something something…
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don’t mind if I do!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2XiL5A1cYw

Dude... harsh again.

Your right though, he did miss some great ones. I dont think I noticed the “Save me Jeebus” anywhere.

I love communications as a major, because we talk about Simpsons all day.

That [I]was[/I] a little harsh, but not “again”. That was the first time.

“Save me jeebus” was on there. Not trying to be harsh a second time, but hit ctrl+F and see what happens.

Oh, good move. I totally didnt do the search. #18!

I’ll take out the again. Were good.

Oh, good move. I totally didnt do the search. #18!
JSYK, [QUOTE]here are the best quotes in Simpsons television history, [B]in no particular order…[/B][/QUOTE]

ralph: dying tickles!

ralph: you choo choo chooooooose me!

Cant believe I forgot all about Rod and Tod

“were number 2, were number 2”

Saw the movie last night was dissapointed. I kept hoping the movie would end. It had some funny parts that obvious could never be on Public TV. But on the whole it was just an hour and half long episode of the show. Dont get me wrong it was ok, but definately didn’t live up the hype.