Well if you post it up a little closer to August I’d definitely come and check you guys out. As long as its within an hour of the U I’m sure it wouldn’t even be a problem. However, if it’s at the Ghetto Fortress (Milestone) I might have to consider my mode of transportation :))
I’m pushing for Snug Harbor. Hopefully they will book us. We’re also gonna contact Lunchbox, Casbah and the Milestone.
Also, there is a really awesome fest happening in Charlotte in a couple weeks…Treasure Fest. Lots of killer bands from all over the country. I would check it out!
I’ve never heard of Treasure Fest before. Wow! I just checked the lineup! I didn’t even know Harvard was still around. They used to play out at Tremont a lot with Cambridge when my band used to play there. Those guys are real good. So is the whole show at Lunchbox? I didn’t know they were still doing shows.
Lunchbox and Snug I think.
There are a ton of really great bands playing!
Algernon Cadwallader
Campaign 1984!
Jason Kutchma (of Red Collar)
Landmines
Red Collar
Restorations
Tim Version
Plus I’m pretty sure Hold Tight! is playing. They are really good friends and an awesome band.
The Venues:
Snug Harbor ($10 walk ups)
Lunchbox Records ($7 walk ups)
Studio 1212 ($7 walk ups)
Common Market (donations)
Central Coffee ($5 walk ups)
Thirsty Beaver (donations)
I really like that Campaign 1984. I’ve never heard them before. I love the tough southern riffs! I’m downloading some Hold Tight! right now.
Cool! I hope you like them. Campaign 1984 is killer live too!
Restorations is one of the loudest bands I’ve ever seen live. I had no idea they would be like that based on their records.
We just started a kickstarter to help fund our tour:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1056022355/ascetic-parade-midwest-tour
Spread the word even if you can’t help out financially. Gas is so ridiculously expensive!
Tour Poster!
That is an awesome poster!
New song, preview of our tour demos, which are a preview of where we’re headed for our next album.
http://asceticparade.bandcamp.com/
New demos we recorded before we went on tour. Most of those should end up on our next album.
Okay, so last weekend we played a camping festival in Marion, NC. It is just outside of Asheville.
We plan to leave around 10 on Saturday. The team is: Me, Joe, Brandon (our newest drummer and this is his first gig) and my friend Dan from North Dakota who is hanging out before he goes down to fest. Dan and I meet Joe at Brandon’s house. Brandon was supposed to be packed and ready to go when we got there. Of course, he wasn’t even awake because he had fallen asleep making his costume the night before.
The festival we were playing was the Catawba River Halloween Music Festival. We ended up leaving around noon. Brandon got all his stuff together and decided he was going to finish his costume in the car. He also had lost his keys, so he gets his spare car and house keys for when he gets back. Brandon is finishing his Sack Boy costume (from Little Big Planet), Joe was Ash Catchem (from Pokemon) and I was Pac-Man. We’re really doing it up for this show. We had a pinata and cupcakes to give out to people in the audience.
In the car on the way up, we make jokes about Brandon poking his eyes out while working on the costume and somehow get on the topics of Def Leppard and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So, of course we talk about Brandon losing an arm and grafting a drum stick to him a la Deadpool in that abortion of a movie. Also, I notice a Jack in the Box on the way up. I’m stoked because they have gears of war stuff that you can win from JitB.
We get to Marion and notice that they have a Wal-Mart on the way to the campgrounds. This is great, because we’re planning on getting water guns to fill with vodka. Why not, right? Well, I just want to get to the camp grounds, because we’re supposed to play at 5:30 and it is already 4 something. So, we roll into the campground and the people there were what you would expect in a mountain town in NC. This is not exactly the crowd we typically play to.
The mental image I am having of a person in a pac man costume passing out cupcakes and pinatas at a punk rock concert is slaying me for some reason.
We are greated by Porsha Justice, the host of the event (and it was also her birthday party!). She said it might be closer to 5:45 before we play. Great, that means Brandon and Dan can run up to the Wal-Mart to get the water guns. Joe and I crack open some booze. He had orange cream vodka and I had a 12 pack of Duck Rabbit. Fall River Massacre is setting up to start playing. They are nu-metal I guess? Nice kids, not my type of music at all.
So, most of these people are already drunk, because they had been camping out there since Friday. Almost all of the younger people are into dubstep and the older people listen to Skynard. There is one dude in an orange “Carolina Sucks” shirt. He is a Clemson fan. He is the first stand out personality we’ve met at the Campout. The person that got us on this show (the wonderful Wes Taylor), is finally waking up and we introduce ourselves to each other.
Around that time another band shows up. The lead singer of the band gAIUs, is a dead ringer for Fat Mike and they are a melodic hardcore band. On top of that, the dudes in the band had seen Nofx the night before in Charlotte. These dudes are telling us crazy stories of 20 years of punk rock fueled by coke, pot and booze. Finally, some kindred spirits out here.
Around an hour later (keep in mind the Wal-Mart is 4.4 miles away), we still haven’t seen Brandon and Dan. Joe calls Brandon and we find out they are going to be back in like 15 minutes. These dudes had a GPS but, man, what a trainwreck that trip had been. Regardless, we’re still okay because there were two more bands before we were going on.
So, Joe and I were getting a little trashed before we play, mostly because we had so much downtime before we went on and nothing to do but drink. Dan and Brandon show back up, we introduce them to our new friends and we consider where we want to set up our tent. Unfortunately, we never really get around to it. We thought we were going to play, so we started to set up, but there was another band then we went on, and by the time we thought about setting up a tent again, it was too dark.
But hey, it isn’t too cold. We’ll be alright. Clemson, as we started referring to the Clemson fan, starts to become a little belligerant. He’s heckling bands. Most of the people playing were just acoustic acts. Very chill stuff, but a lot of it was really good. I get costumed up, because everyone else in my band already was. We start getting the crowd pumped up for our show. Once the sun goes down, it gets artic cold. I break a string on my bass. Something that never happens. gAIUs let me borrow their bass on the promise that I don’t fuck it up. Of course the first thing I do is drop it.
So, I take off my glasses like I do before every show and set them on top of my amp. We play our show. It takes a couple of songs for us to warm up. Mostly because it is pitch black, around 30 degrees outside and we’re hammered drunk. Also, our drummer can’t see out of his costume so he throws his head cover off and we start tearing it up. Pretty good show. Brandon is bummed because he felt like he was off a little, but I was like, no one cared and we sounded pretty solid. The pinata comes out during our song butchered. It gets knocked off the hockey stick we have it attached too and these people demolish it on the ground while we’re playing. It was pretty bitching to watch.
So, after the show, we load out. We pile our stuff back in the van. We start to realize just how bad an idea it was that we didn’t have our tent up, cause it is really freaking cold. But thankfully, they have 3 pretty decent sized campfires. We’re really getting drunk at this point. I finish off my beers and some more. I get my hands on some vodka. Joe and Dan are hitting on pretty much every girl there. Brandon was having a rough night. He felt bad about how we played and he had some personal stuff going on. So, he is pounding booze and destroying blackout drunk status.
gAIUs is playing. They are pretty awesome. I remember somewhere in here that I don’t have my glasses. Hrmm, where could they be? After gAIUs finishes, I find them. Under the guitar player’s stack. Broken. I get some electrical tape from the guys in the band to fix the glasses as best I can. The lens aren’t broken, just the wire that holds one side in. Easy enough fix sober.
We are hanging out with our friends Doris, HA (short for Horses Ass) and Doris’ husband. They are in their late 50s, early 60s I wanna say. Doris has a giant pot of chili. Joe is a vegan and Brandon is a vegetarian, so they don’t partake in the chili. I’m talking to my fiancee on the phone and just forget to eat. This chili, no idea what is in it. These mountain girls that Joe is talking to are just confused as to why he doesn’t eat meat. So, he starts explaining to them all about veganism.
I go back to the van to take off my costume. Of course because of my makeshift job on the glasses repair, the lens pops back out and I’m going the rest of the night with one lens in my glasses. Because I am completely intoxicated, I don’t panic but merely walk to the van and then back to the campfire where I was hanging out with the rest of my band. On the way back, I see a glint on the ground. The car keys! Ha, no big deal. But still, only one lens. Oh well, who needs 'em.
Joe is walking around handing out the last of the cupcakes. I walk up to him and Clemson is there with some of his friends. I offer the last cupcake to that group and like 40 people shout “NO!” Clemson grabs the cupcake and throws it into the woods. This is when I got my first taste of Clemson. Apparently he threw like 5 of them the same way.
So, Joe and Dan have been talking to a ton of girls while I was away on the phone. Apparently Dan met Mary Beth, a woman who has a crazy party trick. She sets her nipples on fire. Dan, in disbelief, calls Joe over and has her do it again in slow motion so he can learn how she does it. It is a pretty awesome trick.
The two of them set off on misadventures talking to the 19 year old girls out there. Dan has a girlfriend, so he is totally wingmaning for Joe. Joe gets in tight with this group of 4 girls (one of which thought I was 21…thanks!) Joe ends up going off into a tent with one of them for a while. We’ll get back to that in a minute.
I’m not really aware of what is going on, because I am babysitting Brandon. Dude has gotten to the can’t stand up point. Clemson shows up and starts calling him a “faggot” and a “queer.” He asks me if I am his boyfriend and I am just like, nah, I like puss and have a fiancee, but thanks for asking. He has a lackey following him around. Clemson’s sidekick if you will. Brandon tries to talk to the dude about different political opinions and Clemson just starts talking a ton of s***.
Louis (who dan takes to calling Lois later in the night) gets really offended when the topic of OWS comes up. Clemson informs all of us that he is a 1%. He also lets us know that he is a microbiologist (which, as we all know, means you’re a giant d-bag by default). Lois and Clemson have to be seperated. They are about to come to blows. I tell Lois that Clemson isn’t worth it. Clemson seems to think I am a part of his posse and that he can boss me around like he does his lackey.
Probably the best part of this fight is Lois calls Clemson ignorant because of the way he is arguing about OWS. Clemson shouts, “I’M IGNORANT?! I’M EDUCATED! I HAVE A DEGREE! I’M A MICROBIOLOGIST!” Lois is a history teacher, so I’m not really sure how that is an appropriate rebuttal.
When I tell him that I wont go get him beers and I wont give him any money, he threatens to throw me in the fire. He grabs me from behind and his lackey reminds him that I am one of the cool ones. Because I totally would want to be friends with these losers. I shove him off of me and I seperate myself from Clemson for the rest of the night thankfully.
Really big misstep on Brandons part trying to talk politics with a guy from Clemson, piss drunk at a concert who just called you a bunch of gay slurs. Especially considering there is a flesh eating raccoon stalking. I dont like where this is headed for ol Brandon
Meanwhile, Joe has gotten into the tent with one of those girls. Of course, she has a boyfriend, but he isn’t here. This is the 2nd girl with a boyfriend that Joe has had go gaga over him at this show. But they made it to the tent. Dan makes friends with Tennessee (he is a UT fan), when Tennessee approaches him asking for help locating his bread. Dan isn’t sure if he is talking about drugs, booze whatever. But no, just some bread. He comes up to Dan with two pieces of sliced white bread and informs him that “I FOUND MY BREAD!” and proceeds to devour it with a giant smile on his face.
Dan and Tennessee round up a group of people to go see his friend Joe! Joe is hanging out in the tent and would like some company. He claims, after the fact, to have given Joe appropriate time to get whatever he needed to do done. Joe, after the fact, is thankful for Dan’s intervention because there could have been an accident. But this group of people come over to Joe in this girl’s tent and ask him if he wants to come hang out with them at the campfire. Major cockblock? Probably. But Joe would end up in that tent later with a different girl and did end up sleeping between the two girls in their tent.
So, while this is going on, Mary Beth breaks out her pet. I walk up to a group of people petting it, and I’m like “wow, it’s really awesome that you have such a giant cat so cool…HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT A RACCOON!!! THAT IS A RACCOON!!!”
“yeah, he’s my pet.”
"Sweet Jesus."
A pet raccoon…just chilling with these people…amazing.
Somewhere around this point I realize it is like 3 or 4 am, I’m hammered and Brandon left hammered behind 2 years ago. We don’t have a tent, but we do have a van and we have to get inside and crash in the sleeping bags. At this point, I have no idea how cold it is, but I can’t feel my toes any more and I’m shivering uncontrollably. Brandon, in his drunken stupor, tells me that he is too cool, he just needs to go sit by the fire. I tell him to stay in the van, just to wrap up tighter, but I am way too drunk to really do anything and I’m about 5 seconds from passed out. Brandon leaves the van, I fall asleep…
So, the next thing I know, I’ve got Wes Taylor waking me up because Brandon had to be taken to the hospital.
“He burned his hand, he was bitten by the raccoon.”
“What?!”
“We got him to the hospital”
“okay.”
And I fell back asleep.
The next morning we found out that Brandon had apparently fallen in the fire. No one noticed until Crunchy was biting the melted flesh off his hands. Brandon was calmly petting him next to the fire. Dan saw them carting him into the Mule (a cross between a golf cart and a four wheeler I think?) to take him to the ambulance waiting at the top of the hill. He saw Brandon fighting and yelling that he didn’t need to go to a doctor that he was fine.
We also saw Clemson limping on his way to leave. So, either Brandon tripped and fell into the fire or he beat the shit out of Clemson and used one of the burning embers to maim his leg. Which would explain why he was sitting like a boss letting the raccon eat away the charred flesh.
This is pretty much the cliff notes version. I might have some stuff out of order and I definitely haven’t even touched upon what happened the next day, but suffice to say it was one of the most epic trips of my life.
The next morning…
I had, at some point, rolled myself tight into the sleeping bag. But it was so cold, I was freezing through the sleeping bag. Porsha saw me shivering so she knocked on the window. It is at this point I realize that dan is asleep on the couch we have in the back seat of the van. She first asks me if we are okay, because she saw me shivering. Then she asks if we know anything about Brandon. We don’t, haven’t heard from him. Then, without skipping a beat and with the same earnest tone in her voice she asks if we would please check out the Haunted Trail because all her volunteers got too drunk the night before so no one remembered to do it. They had spent over 3 hours setting it up.
About 10 minutes later, Dan says totally straightfaced, “well, it’s good to see where priorities lie. Our friend is in the hospital for who knows what and but make sure you check out this haunted trail before you leave!” We burst out laughing at just how absurd it is. We hang out for about 5 more minutes and Porsha brings us a spaceheater for the car. Which was pretty nice, but the sun was coming out and so it was warming up considerable. We realize, in the daylight, that we had plenty of extra clothes and sleeping bags we could have used in the night to keep ourselves warm. Dammit man!
We get out of the van to survey the damage and also to find Joe. Dan is positive he remembers what tent Joe is in, but we never quite make it that far. We get back over to Doris’ campfire where we meet HA officially for the first time. He was a little intoxicated himself the night before. But, in talking to him, we discover that he is an experienced world traveller. He told us stories about thumbing around Europe in the 70s. Apparently he, his wife and his sister got to Europe and back on about $600 for the whole trip.